Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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