I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
