She's JV to your varsity
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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