so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
