I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
