My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
