You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I stole a fireplace last night.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
