She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
