That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
