haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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