Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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