took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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