Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
