yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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