You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
