can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
