i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
