I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
This is my gift to your gina
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
