this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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