Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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