Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
