its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
