who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
