I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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