I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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