I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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