somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
