dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
