Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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