you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i out mim tonsoeep
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