He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
