Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
