i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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