chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
