hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
