I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
