I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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