Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
