I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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