Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
