Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
