i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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