This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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