just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
