so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
