She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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