You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
