She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
