...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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