3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
