I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
