Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wish my penis had an off switch
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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