you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
